Tag Archives: humor

The County Medical Examiners – Vitreous Humor

Click to see hilarious gifts for med students

Forensic Fugues and Medicolegal Medleys (2002)

Lyrics:

Between the deceased eyeball's crystalline lens and retina
A clear gel-like mass that constitutes 80% of the eye
This volume of lubricious fluid is named vitreous humor
And can tell the toxicologist relatively when someone died…
The unblinking eyes of the stinking corpse…
Reveal time of death of the forensic sort…
Vitreous humor so oily and viscous…
Make the stiff a posthumous eyewitness…
Hours after death, body potassium levels rise
Vitreous humor is not affected by this change
We can test the ocular fluid for an accurate PMI
The toxicologist will compare it against the normal range…
Hypodermics filled with watery slime…
From eyeballs to test tubes, ocular grime…
Toxicologists measure potassium levels…
From the decedent's vitreous humor samples…
…Disgusting muck…
…Optic gunk…
…Punctured orb…
…Eyeball gore…
Perspicaciously evaluating the toxicologists findings
Illuminating the dead with a method so blinding
Glomming the fluid from the posterior compartment side
Determining PMI from the postmortem faculty of sight…
…The sunken eyeball…
…Has secrets to tell…
…With its vitreous gel…